Adapted by Spike Milligan. Performed by The Goons (1978).

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Lyrics

(Secombe) I'm going to hold a rhyming comptetion 
To prove that England is the greatest still 
But if I don't like the rhyme that you have written 
I reserve the right, the poet for to kill!

(Sellers/Thynee) This could mean the big time! 
Have you heard of this man Moriarty 
Who's never appeared with Russell Harty

(Milligan/Moriarty) The reason is this: I was out on the

(All) That was a terrible rhyme --

(Secombe) who's the next victim -- that' you

(Sellers/Bloodnok) A nobleman from old Bohemia 
Whose daughter was christined Euphemia 
Though she was a real stunner, she married a gunner 
With chancres and haemiophilia!

(All) That was a wonderful rhyme sign us another one,do!

(Milligan/Moriarty) The reason is this: I was out on the

(Sellers/Bloodnok) Right in the old Niagaras

(Sellers/Bluebottle) There was a young lady of Tottingham 
Who had no manners or had forgotten them 
At tea at the Vicar's, she ripped off her knickers 
Because she said she felt hot in 'em

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Milligan/Minnie) Why aren't I in this recording

(Milligan/Eccles) There was a young man of Tralee 
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp 
When asked did it hurt, he replied not at all. 
It can't

(All) That was an unfinished ryhme. Sing us another one do

(Sellers/Rough) Morning hard on the nurdle 
In arm with the bird and the burdle 
The old fargon goo, he done riden the blue 
And he grundled the gwreds and the gwrelds

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Milligan/Japanese) There was a young man from Yokohomo 
Who marry a girl from Kawmow 
On honeymoon night, bed catch alite 
So he get up and put on pyjammas

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Sellers/German) There was a young Nazi from Berlin 
Fought for Hitler in hopes that he would win 
Now he cleans all the shoes of the Golders Green Jews 
Boy have they got it in for him!

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Milligan/Indian1) There was a young man called Ghandi

(Sellers/Indian2) Ghandi is right

(Indian1) Who went in to the bar for the Shandy

(Indian2) You are right absolutely

(Indian1) With his great loin cloth he wipes off the froth 
And the barman says "Blimey, that's handy"

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Eccles) Well that's the end of that

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Bloodnok) Look, I have several others rhymes unsung

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Minnie) Stop! Stop! Stop!

FX: (various fading out complaints)

(Moriarity) The reason was this, I was out on the

FX: (gunshot!)