Goon Show Scripts

Below is a list of all Goon Show scripts currently available. They form a record of the very funny comedy created by Spike Milligan and the other writers.

Each script has been transcribed from a recording of the actual broadcast rather than a mere reproduction of the original script. They contain what is actually heard in the shows including ad libs, gaffes and so on. You can see an original script in the collectables section.

Series 2

1 : No Title
3 : No Title

Series 4

2 : The Man Who Tried to Destroy London's Monuments
15 : The Missing Prime Minister
18 : The History of Communications
23 : The Greatest Mountain in the World
24 : The Collapse of the British Railway Sandwich System
29 : The Great Bank of England Robbery
Special : The Starlings

Series 5

1 : The Whistling Spy Enigma
2 : The Lost Gold Mine (of Charlotte)
3 : The Dreaded Batter-Pudding Hurler (of Bexhill-on-Sea)
4 : The Phantom Head Shaver (of Brighton)
5 : The Affair of the Lone Banana
6 : The Canal
7 : Lurgi Strikes Britain
8 : The Mystery of the Marie Celeste (Solved)
9 : The Last Tram (from Clapham)
10 : The Booted Gorilla (found?)
11 : The Spanish Suitcase
12 : Dishonoured, or The Fall of Neddie Seagoon
13 : Forog
14 : Ye Bandit of Sherwood Forest
15 : Nineteen-Eighty-Five
16 : The Case of the Missing Heir
17 : China Story
18 : Under Two Floorboards - A Story of the Legion
19 : The Missing Scroll
20 : Nineteen-Eighty-Five
21 : The Sinking of Westminster Pier
22 : The Fireball of Milton Street
23 : The Six Ingots of Leadenhall Street
24 : Yehti
25 : The White Box of Great Bardfield
26 : The End

Series 6

1 : The Man Who Won the War
2 : The Secret Escritoire
3 : The Lost Emperor
4 : Napoleon's Piano
5 : The Case of the Missing CD Plates
6 : Rommel's Treasure
7 : Foiled by President Fred
8 : Shangri-La Again
9 : The International Christmas Pudding
10 : The Pevensey Bay Disaster
11 : The Sale of Manhattan
12 : The Terrible Revenge of Fred Fu-Manchu
13 : The Lost Year
14 : The Greenslade Story
15 : The Hastings Flyer - Robbed
16 : The Mighty Wurlitzer
17 : The Raid of the International Christmas Pudding
18 : Tales of Montmartre
19 : The Jet-Propelled Guided NAAFI
20 : The House of Teeth
21 : Tales of Old Dartmoor
22 : The Choking Horror
23 : The Great Tuscan Salami Scandal
24 : The Treasure in the Lake
25 : The Fear of Wages
26 : Scradje
27 : The Man Who Never Was
Special : The Goons Hit Wales
Special : China Story

Series 7

1 : The Nasty Affair at the Burami Oasis
2 : Drums Along the Mersey
3 : The Nadger Plague
4 : The MacReekie Rising of '74
5 : The Spectre of Tintagel
6 : The Sleeping Prince
7 : The Great Bank Robbery
8 : Personal Narrative
9 : The Mystery of the Fake Neddie Seagoons
10 : What's My Line?
11 : The Telephone
12 : The Flea
13 : Six Charlies in Search of an Author
14 : Emperor of the Universe
15 : Wings Over Dagenham
16 : The Rent Collectors
17 : Shifting Sands
18 : The Moon Show
19 : The Mysterious Punch-up-the-Conker
20 : Round the World in Eighty Days
21 : Insurance, the White Man's Burden
22 : The Africa Ship Canal
23 : Ill Met by Goonlight
24 : The Missing Boa Constrictor
25 : The Histories of Pliny the Elder
Special : Robin Hood
Special : Operation Christmas Duff
Special : The Reason Why

Series 8

1 : Spon
2 : The Junk Affair
3 : The Burning Embassy
4 : The Great Regents Park Swim
5 : The Treasure in the Tower
6 : The Space Age
7 : The Red Fort
8 : The Missing Battleship
9 : The Policy
10 : King Solomon's Mines
11 : The Stolen Postman
12 : The Great British Revolution
13 : The Plasticine Man
14 : African Incident
15 : The Thing on the Mountain
16 : The String Robberies
17 : The Moriarty Murder Mystery
18 : The Curse of Frankenstein
19 : The White Neddie Trade
20 : Ten Snowballs that Shook the World
21 : The Man Who Never Was
22 : World War One
23 : The Spon Plague
24 : Tiddleywinks
25 : The Evils of Bushey Spon
26 : The Great Statue Debate

'Vintage Goons' Series

1 : The Mummified Priest
2 : The Greatest Mountain in the World
3 : The Missing Ten Downing Street
4 : The Giant Bombardon
5 : The Kippered Herring Gang
6 : The Vanishing Room
7 : The Ink Shortage
8 : The Mustard and Cress Shortage
9 : The Internal Mountain
10 : The Silent Bugler
11 : The Great Bank of England Robbery
12 : The Dreaded Piano Clubber
13 : The Siege of Fort Night
14 : The Albert Memorial

Series 9

1 : The Sahara Desert Statue
2 : I Was Monty's Treble
3 : The £1,000,000 Penny
4 : The Pam's Paper Insurance Policy
5 : The Mountain Eaters
6 : The Childe Harolde Rewarde
7 : The Seagoon Memoirs
8 : Queen Anne's Rain
9 : The Battle of Spion Kop
10 : Ned's Atomic Dustbin
11 : Who Is Pink Oboe?
12 : The Call of the West
13 : Dishonoured - Again
14 : The Scarlet Capsule
15 : The Tay Bridge
16 : The Gold Plate Robbery
17 : The £50 Cure

Series 10

1 : The Christmas Carol
2 : The Tale of Men's Shirts
3 : The Chinese Legs
4 : Robin's Post
5 : The Silver Dubloons
6 : The Last Smoking Seagoon

Specials

Special : The Last Goon Show of All